How to Set a SCHEDULE vs. a ROUTINE

Putting your baby (and yourself!) on a schedule and having a routine are 2 completely different things. I knew that when raising my kids, I wanted to have a schedule. With 2 preemie babies and so many doctor appointments and CHOP appointments and other things, I knew I needed to have some sort of an idea as to when they would be eating/sleeping throughout the day so that I could make those doctor appointments at a time that worked for me and the twins.

If you look at the post on Babywise Basics, you'll see that FEED leads you into a 2.5-3 hour schedule. But that can vary every single day and therefore is just a routine. For example, one day they wake up screaming at 5am hungry, you feed them. Then you feed them at 8am, 10:30am, 1:30pm, 4:30pm, 7pm, 10pm (dream feed- more on that later), 4am, 7am, and on and on. Like a hamster on a wheel.

So- how do you fix it and get on the same schedule every day? A consistent wake time!

The easy way to fix it is to set a wake time for your baby. Make it realistic and a time that will work for you and your morning. My wake time for the twins was 6:30am and for Chatham was 6am. Overtime we stretched the time out to around 7am, 7:30am. I’ll use Chatham’s schedule as an example. 

6am- waketime

9am

12pm

3pm

6pm- bedtime

10pm dreamfeed

4am

6am

Things to note:

* You can see the schedule calls for her to eat every 3 hour during the day. You want to stay within a half hour of that time- so 15 minutes on each side. So for the 9am feeding, feed within 8:45am-9:15am. I know this seems insane and it’s such a small time frame- but at the beginning when you are trying to set this up- it’s worth it!

* 3 hours- that’s your goal. If you sense your baby is hungry at 8:15am, try your best- whether it’s rocking, paci/binky, singing, whatever you can do to get them to the 8:45am goal. I’m telling you- you will benefit from this! Once you have this schedule set in stone, you can vary it depending on your day, but at the beginning, DO IT! 

* 10pm- dreamfeed. You have just done your bedtime routine, including the baby’s feed time at 6pm, and they are now in bed sleeping. Insert dreamfeed. The dreamfeed is a Hail Mary feed. You feed your baby in the dark room, no talking, no eye contact, try to even avoid changing their diaper, feed your baby, and put them right back down to bed. Your hope is that this feed doesn’t wake them up and also satisfies them as long as possible into the morning hours. Then you LET THEM SLEEP! Do not wake them during the night. This is the beginning of teaching them the difference between night and day.

* 4am-6am feed. If you think I made a typo, I didn’t. So your baby wakes after the dreamfeed at 4am, feed them, in the dark, no eye contact, change diaper only if you have to, and put them back in. Now they are sleeping soundly and their body is telling them they are good until around 7am (3hours). WRONG. Well, at least wrong for your schedule. You wake them up at 6am! And you feed them again (read: top them off). For example, if I just fed Chatham 6oz at 4am, I’ll probably feed her 4.5-5oz at 6am. Then she is topped off and ready to go until 9am. You can do a similar idea with breastfeeding (I did!- just adjust the ounces into minutes- for example, a top off for Chatham would be 15 minutes instead of 20-25min)

The key is a consistent wake time. Even if their dreamfeed lasts them until 5am and they wake up screaming and you know there is no way they are going to last until 6am. You feed them what you think it will take to get them to 6am. Maybe they are satisfied with 2oz and then you play with them and give them the rest of their full feed until 6am. You are now teaching them to stretch out their feeds throughout the day/night. And you are training their bodies that when 6am comes, it’s time to eat, and to try and sleep up until then.

And that’s how you set your schedule! Now when the doctor says what time do you want an appointment or your friend wants to meet up to go shopping, you know your schedule and you can easily set a time that works for you and your baby. 

Scheduling makes dr appts over an hour away easy to make!

Scheduling even works with your husband- just kidding!

Check out these related posts:

How to Create a Schedule

My Top 5 Breastfeeding Tips

Getting Support

The Best Swaddling Technique

My Mommy Must Haves!

How to Teach your Baby to Fall Asleep

The Basics of Babywise

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